How Did We Get Here?

THURSDAY, MARCH 8th

I hadn't been feeling well, so I went to my OB to for a blood pressure/hydration check at 10:30.  What should have been a routine appointment turned into being told our daughter didn't look "normal" on the ultrasound and that I needed to see a Maternal Fetal Doctor that afternoon.  I called Cody and he met me at my OB and took me to the Maternal Fetal doctor in Midland.  After another ultrasound, the Maternal Fetal Doctor diagnosed Ashton as having "hydrops" and told us that she had no chance of survival.  The Maternal Fetal doctor explained that "hydrops" is a collection of fluid in two or more body cavities and that Ashton had a large amount of fluid in her belly and in her head.  There are many causes for "hydrops" however this condition often occurs for unexplained/unknown reasons.  The doctor in Midland explained that Ashton's heart would eventually stop because of all the fluid in her belly and that I would deliver her after her heart stopped.  Although we were given the option to meet with another Maternal Fetal doctor in Odessa the next day, Cody and I opted for a second opinion in Houston at the University of Texas Maternal Fetal Medicine Center.  An appointment was set up for us the next afternoon and we started making plans to travel to Houston.  Our neighbor picked Brady up from daycare while Cody and I made arrangements for Brady to stay with Cody's parents in Levelland.  We couldn't get a flight out of Midland because of Spring Break, so we started driving and spent the night in San Antonio.

FRIDAY, MARCH 9th

We woke up early and finished driving to Houston. We met with Dr. Anthony Johnson at the University of Texas Maternal Fetal Medicine Center and had over an hour and half long ultrasound.  Dr. Johnson agreed that Ashton had "hydrops" however, he believed that her heart was actually the major cause of her condition.  Dr. Johnson told us that the prognosis was very grim and that Ashton was very, very sick.  He admitted me to Children's Memorial Herman Hospital that afternoon and told us that we may deliver as early as that evening unless they could get my blood pressure/swelling under control.  Next, was a whirlwind of doctors, nurses, tests, blood draws, tears, and prayers.  My blood pressure came down and they started me on steroid injections and magnesium to help Ashton during delivery.  We made it through the night with out delivering.

SATURDAY, MARCH 10th

After monitoring Ashton and me throughout the night, the doctors decided we were stable enough not to deliver immediately.  I was placed on strict bed rest, given a second steroid injection, and we hoped to keep from delivering Ashton for another 24 hours.

SUNDAY, MARCH 11th

Throughout the night, I noticed Ashton wasn't moving/kicking as much as she had been.  After monitoring her heart beat/movements, the whirlwind started again.  This time delivery was the only option.  I was wheeled into the operating room, given an epidural, and told to "stay calm".  A short time later they brought Cody in and they started the C-Section.  Unfortunately, the epidural didn't work 100% and before they delivered Ashton I was put completely to sleep. I "woke up" in recovery asking the one question no mother ever wants to utter, "Is she alive?"  Cody told me she was fighting hard and that the doctors had taken her to the NICU.  After a short time in recovery, I was transferred to my room to begin the recovery process from having an emergency C-Section.  (Although not a physically pleasant experience in the slightest, I refuse to complain given what my sweet baby is going through right now.)  Around 9:30p.m. I was allowed to go to the NICU for a brief visit with Ashton which consisted of me crying in a wheelchair looking at a very tiny, sick little girl.  Cody took me back to my room and did his best to take care of me while going to see Ashton as much as possible.

MONDAY, MARCH 12th

The doctors all agreed that Ashton's lungs were tiny, her heart was large, she had lots of edema (fluid), that she was extremely critical, and that no one was sure why she was facing all of these challenges.  Ventilator settings were changed, IVs and central lines were started, and Cody and I were told that this was a minute by minute process.  I visited Ashton as often as I could, but it never seemed like enough.

TUESDAY, MARCH 13th - WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14th

As we went to visit Ashton we sat down and spoke to the Neonatologist coordinating Ashton's treatment plan.  She explained that Ashton's heart wasn't pumping well and that they had started her on two different heart medications aimed at increasing her heart function.  We were told that we needed to see improvement in the next 24-48 hours.  Obviously, this was a hard conversation to have, but Cody and I called out once again to all of our friends and family to pray specifically for these medicines to help Ashton's heart pump better.  We spent the next two days hanging on every word the doctors said and praying for her heart to start pumping better.  The highlight of this stressful "wait and see" period occurred Wednesday evening when we went to the NICU to check on Ashton.  The nurses let me pick Ashton up and hold her in her isolet while they changed her bedding.  After I returned to my room Brady had arrived from Midland and gave me a huge hug.  It was overwhelming to be able to hold my sweet angel for those few minutes and to see my big boy.  I cried most of the night thinking about finally getting to touch Ashton and how much we loved both her and her big brother.
THURSDAY, MARCH 15th
"You are going to like me today" were the first words out of the neonatologist's mouth when we saw her after the morning evaluation of Ashton.  The echocardiograms looked better and her heart was pumping better.  We were told the plan for the next few days was to wean her off the Nitrogen Oxide and the heart medicines as her body was starting to be more and more self-sufficient.  Obviously, this was a huge praise and Cody and I were ecstatic at the news.  However, my mommy emotions went on a roller coaster as I was discharged from the hospital and forced to face the fact that I was leaving without my daughter.

FRIDAY, MARCH 16th - SATURDAY, MARCH 17th

There wasn't much activity on Friday.  We basically just sat around and watched as she hung out.  The started reducing IV heart medicines.

SUNDAY, MARCH 18th

Ashton's blood gases had been good, so they decided to start making vent. changes.  Ashton DID NOT like the changes in the vent./reduction in heart medicines.  She became extremely agitated and inconsolable.  The doctor ended up increasing her vent. settings and her heart meds and she finally calmed down a couple of hours later.  It was SO hard to not be able to console my baby and not know what was wrong.  On top of that, I had to put Cody and Brady on a plane back to Midland that morning so I didn't have Cody here with me.  I realized how hard it was going to be not having him here to help get through the "bad days". 


Brandi